this is leah winklers website

SARAH,

i just want you to know that I am like ON DRUGS RIGHT NOW and I”m  really really really high right now and I’m kind of freaking out. Like, I’m tweaking. Literally.

for a period of time, i thought i was going to pass out or stop breathing somehow.

I still kind of have the shakes but I am managing to type you this letter and fight every urge TO DIE.

I have to go to sleep.

I just am writing you a message right now because I want to tell you how much I am proud of you and how much I love you. I think that you have grown so much over the past years and are going to grow into an amazing person that nobody ever  expected- especially you!!!

It was so so so so good to see you the other night, and even though I’m being totally LAME AND HIGH right now, you are like, one of my favorite people in the world. I love you as much as I love my mom. Or my sister. I hope you know that. I know you had a difficult time last year. I mean really difficult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!and sometimes I didn’t know what to do because you are such a nice girl that you don’t deserve any of it.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I could give you anything good that’s ever happened to me and take from you anything bad that’s ever happened- I’d be a happy girl because I think that you are a better person than me. Sometimes I can’t understand why you have such a good heart and why I can tend to be pesemistic and dark-hearted ( muahahhahahaha).

HOW CAN YOU how can you  stand to be my friend?!?!?!

I don’t really think we will ever lose touch- but if we do, I want to thank you for putting up with me all through college, and you’ve made a huge influence in who I am today. I feel like we’ve been through so much together and I truly miss you so much bestie.

You know when people die, everyone  puts up on their facebook wall how much they miss them? I don’t think anybody needs to wait until somebody is dead to write that stuff about people you know?

WOW! that was a really fucked up thing to say.I am very very very very fucked up right now.

I mean, I was looking at an old picture of myself earlier and I was thinking how I had really wide, wide hips, and I was staring at the picture and I literally saw me, in the picture, WIGGLING MY HIPS.  I was like WHAT THE FUCK and then I looked at my carpet and the pattern that I was looking at on the carpet looked like it was moving  AROUND.

OH MY GOD. IT STILL LOOKS LIKE IT’S MOVING BUT TO A LESSER DEGREE.

And then!  I was watching Ben play Mario and the Mario started to look 3D!

OKAY. I am feeling a little better now but I’m starting to get a really weird body buzz that is making me feel like I’m melting or that I can’t feel my mouth. This is really good for me to document this, because I can look back at it and make a resolution that I am not going to do anymore drugs, like ever. Actually, I feel a little bit like I”m on cocaine. But I know I’m not. It’s so weird Sarah. I know I’m going to be alright, but at the same time, I’m totally wigging out. I never want to feel like this again!!!!!

Honestly though, I have to go back telling you how much I love you because that was really calming me down. okay, here it is. You look amazing. I think that your hair looks really pretty and I’m really jeaous of it. I wish my hair wasn’t so thick and that my body wasn’t so round. I am jealous of you skinny arms and legs. maybe that was a creepy statement, but it is definitely true true true. I also like the fact that you can be laid back at all times in the most dire situations, and you are not as sensitive as i am when it comes to people being douche bags to you.

AND I HOPE THAT SOMEDAY YOU WILL FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST. SERIOUSLY THE BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE.

LOOK AT THIS VIDEO. THIS IS US.